What is happy?

Alex is taking an online summer course on philosophy, and he is writing a paper.  For part of it he has to define happiness.  So he came down to ask us how we would define being happy.  I told him that I thought it was something about doing things you like most of the time, whether you're paid for it or not - or maybe it was about liking the things you do  most of the time, which is a bit of a difference.  And is contentment the same thing?  I think not.  For example, I am not currently "content" but I am mostly happy.

If this was the first time I had this kind of conversation in a week, I wouldn't have given it a second thought (and you wouldn't be reading about it, either.)  It's all good, as the kids say, at home.  But, I was getting not so much joy out of my work as usual (and that's odd because summer is a great time for one who likes to organize and buy school/office supplies!) and I couldn't define why I was sort of unhappy (as opposed to sad, or depressed, or cranky.)  I knew that with our rabbi out on sabbatical, the dynamics of our workplace would change a bit, but okay.  We'd already been through that last summer, and it didn't seem so terrible.  An email conversation with a friend and former co-worker (shout out to Colorado!) revealed that this summer is different for ME, not for the synagogue.  I probably didn't even notice much last summer, what with the life-altering surgery and all.

This summer, I am feeling all the discomfort that our "team" is experiencing as a result of its absent guiding force.  To ourselves, we say it is not as much fun around the place, but it's more than fun - it's more like the normal stress that's usually on everyone for day to day things, like pastoral items, interpersonal staff relations, and member care, feels tougher because we're missing a piece of what makes us work so well.  We're all separately strong, but I think we feel kind of brittle.  Of course, I can only speak for myself, but for sure I'm not the only one feeling the strain. But.............1 month down, 2 to go, and I've got to admit the quiet is kind of nice.

However, I'm not happy with not being content.  (How's that for a concept?)  Once I identified the problem for myself, I started working on the solution.  The answer is to press on and focus on all the cool stuff I get to do that is unique to the summertime work environment, which is, in addition to organizing/purchasing, covering for both rabbi and cantor, so I get to work with students practicing their Hebrew and their chanting (one of my favorite activities that I don't get to do much) and also to help students prepare what they will teach at their Bar or Bat Mitzvah.  And, I get to work more closely with our administrator than I do the rest of the year, when there's simply not enough time to talk about trying something new.  We conspire on how to entice prospective members and she's a great sounding board for some of my whackadoo ideas for the coming year. 

And tomorrow, we're going out to lunch for my birthday.  Gotta love a job that includes going out to lunch!