So after that first appointment, Elyssa took me home and I set myself up once more in "recovery mode:" Plenty of fluids, 2 phones, iPad, bottles of meds, all on a tray on the bed so I wouldn't have to reach backwards. (Rod's idea.) During the day the tray sits on the bed, and at night it moves to a "tv tray" table placed precisely so I can reach it AND still swing my legs around to get to the bathroom. Whew.
Not knowing that I was going to have drains (ahem) I had failed to acquire a new fanny pack to hold them in, so on to Amazon and they (2 for just in case I need one for the shower) arrived by Saturday. So at least now I didn't have to always pin them to my clothes. I try to be the "queen" of long-range planning.
For my next appointment, on the 15th, we actually saw the doctor and he (once again) admired his work. (Thanks to Elyssa for again driving and taking notes!) He and Yui (his nurse) said my drain numbers (now tidily lined up on a sweet Levenger note card instead of scrawled on the photocopy sheet from the hospital - I have my standards) were good, but not great. They told me to take it easy and call on Monday, when they felt certain a drain would come out. I believe what I heard (and perhaps not, in retrospect, what they said) is "call first thing Monday and you can come on over and we'll take at least one out." We are also told (and this I'm certain about) that the left drain can only stay in for 2 weeks, max. Something after foreign body, infection, blah, blah. (And, true to his nature, Doctor D'Amico slipped in a snarky remark about that being the side where the radiation was. Dude! Give it a rest! A decision I made in 2006 with what information I had can NOT be undone at this point.)
It is one loooooong weekend. I empty the drains twice a day and hold the measuring cups up to the light. The urge to fib (just a little) is strong, since the lower the numbers, the faster the drains are removed. But the urge to do the right thing is stronger, and I faithfully record numbers that are getting dramatically lower on the right while staying unsurprisingly higher on the left.
On Monday I have arranged my ENTIRE day around leaving for Englewood at 10:05, right after I have successfully called in the near-perfect numbers (on the right, at least.) Quick-ish trip to doctor's office, Yui takes out a drain (maybe 2? No, probably not) and back home again in time to get ready for work and my 1:30 & 2:30 meetings, then school. So the plan is to stay in sweats, etc. until I get home.
Call at 10, get the answering service. Call at 10:15, get the service. Call at 10:30, get the service and ask them (nicely) what the HELL is going on over there that they are not picking up the phone after I was PROMISED I could come in "first thing." They say they'll pass along the message but at this point, I call myself again and reach the office, who says that Yui is in surgery with the doctor, and she'll get back to me. It is useless for me to explain that I needed 30 minutes' notice to drive over, and did I mention? It's pouring rain outside. (You know the saying "Man plans and God laughs? God was doubled over and peeing in his/her pants by now, I'm sure.)
This poor woman who is taking my calls and probably doesn't deserve the silent verbal pounding I am giving her lets me know, on my (3d? 4th?) call that Yui won't be out of surgery until after noon and Yui passed along the message to ask if at least one of the drains is at 25 or lower? Yes, dammit. By this time, my carefully crafted plan for the day in shards around my feet, I am so disappointed that I am crying. (Did I say that in the scheme of life this is NOT THAT IMPORTANT? It isn't. But it sure was then.)
Finally she tells me I can come at 1 p.m. so I throw all my work clothes into a bag, basically pack up for my day into and through Kadimah, which ends at 8:30, and in a couple of trips (no over-working, remember) through the rain, to the car. I'm leaving early so I can be there, lurking in the waiting room, just as soon as Yui can see me.
As I back the van out of the driveway, I simultaneously realize that a)this is the first time I've driven in 2 weeks and b)the (other) drains, the ones that keep water from collecting around the sunroof and normally channel the water off the back of the roof, are clogged. So, it is basically raining IN the car as well, but only on the driver's side. (Really? Come on!) My left leg is just getting soaked after the water bounces off the steering wheel and on the right the water is dripping right onto the little box we keep in the car for all the extra charging cables. Meanwhile I am getting onto the highway, which I do not like in normal conditions. So here we are, cranky, wet, frustrated, tired (always tired) and secretly worried I am going to do all this and get there and she won't take a drain out. As they say, it would be "all for naught."
After rearranging some stuff with my right hand to protect the electronics, I finally get up to what we could jokingly call highway speed (fog, driving rain, normally horrible fellow drivers even worse) and focus on just getting there. Arrive at 12:40 and presto! Yui comes out and takes me in, removes a drain, and verifies that I will have to come on Wednesday to get the left one removed no matter what the numbers are.
By this time, I have surgically removed from my fanny pack the two front pockets, leaving behind a slim pocket just big enough to hold the left drain, so the whole affair can fit "attractively" under a loose top (thank you, Chico's). I get to use this new setup for not even two days, but any positive change is good.
Wednesday, April 22. I am seated promptly in the waiting room at 1 for a 1:30 appointment. I get right in, Yui takes out the left drain, removes some stitches, and says "I'm still not happy with that number (the left drain is "stuck" at 35) so you are going to have to be really careful that the number doesn't go higher now that the drain is out." Hey, Yui, I love you to pieces, but without the drains and measuring their output, how am I supposed to know if the numbers are getting higher? She answers my unasked question: "So, we're going to have to immobilize your left arm - go and get a sling. You need to wear it for 2 weeks, and come back in a month." (May 27 is the next appointment.)
Okay, so nobody trusts me to take it easy. Good call. I head to the drug store, buy one sling of the huge selection (2) that they have (try to get the lightest-weight one) and they patiently work with me to size it and figure out how to use all the velcro to fold bits up and make it work for me. (Note here that the lovely people at the drug store have never met someone who needed a sling who didn't have a broken hand/arm.) Knowing that everyone will now see a sling and produce a whole new raft of questions, I post the following on Facebook:
"If you see me in a sling, please know:
I'm ok and nothing is broken.
Both drains are out, but qualified surgical professionals don't (with good reason) trust me not to use my left arm for reaching, lifting, and other activities that will harm the nice work they did.
So now they made me wear a sling. It's blue."
With all the nonsense I've been through in my life, I've NEVER had a sling. It was quite comforting, for a while. Did its job, and I was secure in the knowledge I wasn't going to overdo because I just couldn't. That lasted about a 1/2 hour. Then I realized I've NEVER had a sling. How do I cut my food? Pull jeans down/up? Drive? (Ok, so it turns out I drove exclusively with my right hand for 2 weeks, but that's another questionable decision and it's done now.) Call to Yui begins with "I feel like an idiot but......." Turns out I don't have to wear it 24/7 - but I do my best.
Now it's Thursday, May 7. I started wearing the sling on Wednesday, April 22 in the afternoon. So by anyone's calendar it's been 2 weeks. Some people have Cinco de Mayo, some have May the Fourth Be with You. I have "Fling the Sling Thursday." I don't think it will catch on and guess what? I don't care.
Oh oh. I think I feel fluid building up! (Just kidding. I have no idea if fluid did/did not build up more or less in the last two weeks. And the doctor doesn't want to see me again for another 2 weeks, so methinks he was just being very protective of his work.) After five years, if he asked me to wear the sling for another 2 weeks, you know I would. I'd bitch about it, but I would.
With all the nonsense I've been through in my life, I've NEVER had a sling. It was quite comforting, for a while. Did its job, and I was secure in the knowledge I wasn't going to overdo because I just couldn't. That lasted about a 1/2 hour. Then I realized I've NEVER had a sling. How do I cut my food? Pull jeans down/up? Drive? (Ok, so it turns out I drove exclusively with my right hand for 2 weeks, but that's another questionable decision and it's done now.) Call to Yui begins with "I feel like an idiot but......." Turns out I don't have to wear it 24/7 - but I do my best.
Now it's Thursday, May 7. I started wearing the sling on Wednesday, April 22 in the afternoon. So by anyone's calendar it's been 2 weeks. Some people have Cinco de Mayo, some have May the Fourth Be with You. I have "Fling the Sling Thursday." I don't think it will catch on and guess what? I don't care.
Oh oh. I think I feel fluid building up! (Just kidding. I have no idea if fluid did/did not build up more or less in the last two weeks. And the doctor doesn't want to see me again for another 2 weeks, so methinks he was just being very protective of his work.) After five years, if he asked me to wear the sling for another 2 weeks, you know I would. I'd bitch about it, but I would.
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