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| This year's "Family Photo" |
Dear
Friends,
At many
Passover tables, people sing a song called “Dayenu” (pronounced
die-ay-noo.) It means, more or less, “it
would have been enough;” if one good thing happened instead of two, it would
have sufficed. So, if Alex had graduated from college, it would have been
enough. If, in addition, Ari had
graduated from high school and gotten into college, that would have been
enough. If also Andrew had gotten
married, it would have been enough. If I
was honored for 10 years as educator to my congregation, that would have been
enough. That was May and June. Were they
the only things that happened last year?
Nope. But they were definitely
the highlights.
January
of 2013 was greeted with our host of friends, and the winter wore on as we
prepared for Andrew and Jackie’s wedding.
In April we traveled to Cape Cod for our nephew Isaac Bernstein’s Bar
Mitzvah, and celebrated with my Dad and the rest of the family. We knew that my other brother’s wife Jill was
still fighting a breast cancer battle far tougher than my own, but did not know
that weekend was the last time we would see her. Jill passed away on June 17. She left behind my “baby” brother Jonathan,
our beautiful niece Emily and our very cool nephew Aaron.
July
took us to Cape Cod for some R & R.
Each son had a friend (or wife!) along and that made for some wonderful
mini golf outings and great dinners. We
now needed two cars to go anywhere, but it was worth it. Ari started Ramapo College (his first choice)
in September, and made the Dean’s List! Although it is 5 minutes from home and
1 minute from the synagogue, he lives on campus and we really don’t see him as
often as one might think. He is getting
ready to register for the fall semester and is hoping to land a room in one of
the campus’s apartments with one of his suitemates from this year.
Alex
graduated from Montclair State University in May with a Bachelor’s degree and a
paralegal certificate and a more than respectable GPA but now is not sure that
paralegal work is something he can be “passionate” about. So, he is going to take on some temporary
jobs and see what the rest of the working world has to offer. He has, however, been extremely helpful
around the house when it comes to grocery shopping, running errands, shoveling
SNOW, and helping to keep Mario and Luigi, Andrew and Jackie’s chinchillas (my
foster grandchildren) healthy and happy.
After a
10-year courtship, Andrew and Jackie tied the knot on May 19. It was a rainy day, not what anyone would
have chosen for a planned outdoor wedding, but the bride was gloriously
stunning, the flowers were beautiful, the music was fabulous, and the food was
delicious. Everything was perfect, right
down to Jackie’s blue peep-toe pumps.
The McVeigh men were decked out in gray Vera Wang tuxedos. Our own rabbi and cantor performed the
ceremony under Jackie’s family heirloom lace and my grandfather’s tallis. They left for their honeymoon in Iceland the
next day.
Memorial
Day weekend the rest of the family flew to Denver for Francie Amdurer’s wedding
to Jens Kuhlers high up (imagine even higher than the mile-high city) at a
gorgeous castle with Colorado vista all around.
It was a whirlwind time, but Alex, Ari, Rod & I enjoyed our
adventure. I think a highlight for the
boys was all the iPads at LaGuardia Airport!
Rod is
still very busy at Konica Minolta, and also has a hand in Project Literacy and
the Bergen Community College Foundation, as well as volunteering time at the synagogue. Project Literacy’s annual gala and the BCC
Foundation Medallion dinner dance were both great events that gave us a chance
to dress up a bit and win a few things at the silent auctions. He also regularly sees his parents in
Teaneck, sometimes just to say “hi” and sometimes to help out. Andrew and Jackie, who live about 5 minutes
away in Hackensack, are also around if Maggie and Tom need a quick hand. With everyone so close, it’s been easy to
celebrate birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. Alex, Andrew, and Jackie were in Teaneck with
Rod’s sister Lindsay (in from Indiana) and her family for Christmas.
Rod, Ari
and I were not in the United States for the holidays – we were in Israel! Along with Ari’s girlfriend Liz and members
of our congregation, I acted as co-leader with Joel Mosbacher, our rabbi while
we did some traditional touring (Dead Sea, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Eilat, Masada)
and then some non-traditional things like picking fruit, helping prepare lunch
at a soup kitchen, seeing East Jerusalem from two distinctly different
political points of view, and hearing from the leader of the Women of the Wall
and a prominent reporter from the Jerusalem Post. We walked the Old City, of course, but we
also took a day trip to Jordan and REALLY walked as we viewed the wonder of
Petra. We returned home early on the
morning of New Year’s Day, and so did not host brunch this year. (But Rod drove over to the Shearers in Ramsey
to visit our friends after we got home and I heard they were wonderful hosts!)
Two
weeks after that we drove to the wilds of Pennsylvania for our congregational
retreat, picking up Liz along the way from her dorm at Muhlenberg College. I had helped to plan some of the activities
and so was running most of the weekend at the camp we had rented, but it was terrific
to see so many of our families (over 100 people) together in such a relaxed,
informal atmosphere.
I did
have another surgery in August, but it was more reconstruction, which I
needed. Although my doctor says one can
never be “cured” of breast cancer, every 6 month visit that goes by with a
clean blood test helps me get to that “5 year survivor” point that they say
decreases one’s risk of recurrence. Before the weather got cold, I had started
doing a lot of walking at a nearby park, and I think that has helped with some
of the side effects of my medication AND I lost some weight, so win/win!
I was
able to travel to San Diego earlier in December for the URJ Biennial convention
with 3 other leaders from our synagogue, and I now supervise not just our
school staff but also our youth director, so I’ve done some professional stretching. I’m finding that responsibility, risk, reward
are all part of one package, and my renewed confidence has been one of the best
rewards.
It seems
like we’ve been in the process of removing snow forever at this point. As I write, there’s more on the way, but it
may only be a dusting. Still, it’s got
to be cleaned up and honestly, we’re all a little sick of snow. (The snow blower we bought Rod a couple of
years ago has been a huge help, though.)
Just one amazing thing to greet
with joy in 2013 would have been enough.
But we wouldn’t have missed all the others for the world. In July Rod and I will celebrate our 30th
anniversary while we are on Cape Cod with the family. For those of you who have shared all or part
of this journey with us, can you believe it?
We wish you all a wonderful year filled with good health, the company of
loved ones, and celebrations large and small.
Rod,
Rebecca, Andrew, Jackie, Alex, & Ari
31 Seton Hall Drive, Oakland, NJ 07436
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