Thinking With Your Head versus Your Gut

So, I've been tooling along all focused on logistics, like what time to wake Ari tomorrow so that he's alert, dressed, and fed for his school pick up (5:45!)  Or what strategy to use with my own clothing so that it's easy to get out of and back into after surgery (button down pj shirt that doesn't look like one - Vera Wang on sale at Kohl's.)  Or, writing a list to take of all my medications since I know that's part of the pre-op interview.  Or, choosing a bag to hold all my "stuff" that Rod wouldn't be embarrassed to haul around the hospital while he's waiting (black & brown small backpack instead of the usual pink, yellow, green and blue pastel striped bag that holds a lot from a Bath & Body Works promotion.)  You get the picture.

Despite all this "thinking" about tomorrow, I guess I wasn't really thinking about tomorrow, not with my gut anyway.  The nurse called this morning to ask about the EKG and blood test results (as in, where are they?) and I told her the hospital had done them so they had better be at the hospital.  Right hand, check in with left hand.  As she said goodbye she said "Don't worry, you'll be really happy with this."

I don't know why, but now, I'm scared.  Stomach turning, limb shaking, shallow breathing scared.  Maybe work this afternoon will help.  

And yes, I've called the hospital.  The test results are all okay and I've been given "clearance" for surgery  Or takeoff, I guess.  Never liked takeoff.  Much happier with landing.